


One Volume at a Time

by chaosfay



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 06:01:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9058717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaosfay/pseuds/chaosfay
Summary: Arida was embarrassed enough when she discovered Cullen had commissioned Varric for a novel.  Now she's discovered volume two...





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reellifejaneway](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reellifejaneway/gifts).



> This is a follow-up prompt for reellifejaneway's fic Sweet Sweet Revenge. You can find it here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/3189674
> 
> I suggest reading that for context.
> 
> Antivanruffles on tumblr sent me the prompt.

It’d been weeks since the horrifying morning finding the smutty novel left by Cullen.  Arida had read it several times, and the two of them had made a point of practicing ever intimate scene in the story.  More than a few of them were in public or near public settings.  The looks she continued to receive from Cassandra, as well as none-too-subtly dropped hints and innuendos from her, had left Arida wanting to hide.  
   
What she didn’t expect, and should have, was finding a second volume of the story.  The title alone had tempted her to just burn it: Love Rifts Asunder.  Cassandra had been reading in her usual spot, but upon rising when she saw Arida she set the book down on her seat.  It had piqued Arida’s curiosity, and immediate regret, when she saw the cover.  It was only when Iron Bull had started walking towards her did she run.  There was no way she would let him see the humiliating mess this had her in.  
  
Did Cullen pay Varric for a second volume, or were Cassandra and Varric conspiring together?  Creators, she hoped it was Cullen.  The very idea had her pause in the main hall.  Varric was nowhere in sight, which left her unable to ask him.  She made her way to Cullen’s office, doing her best to slow her breathing.  He was likely just waiting for her to show up.  
  
She opened his office door, not bothering to knock, and found him sitting at his desk going over reports.  
  
“One was bad enough, but now two?”  Arida could feel her face getting hot.  
  
Looking up, “two what?”  
  
Arida held up the book.  “Love Rifts Asunder.  The second book of the series you commissioned Varric for.”  No response other than a smug grin.  “I thought we had agreed one was enough.  One was more than enough.  Why did you insist on a second?”  
  
“That explains the questions Varric was asking me.”    
  
“How many copies?”  
  
“No idea, but if considering there were two copies of the first one there will likely be a two copies of this one.”    
  
“The idea of Cassandra and Varric conspiring is terrifying enough, but you encouraging this?  I’m burning it.  I’m this book, the copies, and the other two of the first one.”  Arida turned to leave, but was abruptly stopped when Cullen ran from his desk and slammed the door shut.  
  
“Absolutely not.  I want to know what happens to Rutledge and Larellan.”  He made to grab for the book, but Arida moved out of reach.    
  
“Do you know how cruel it is traveling with Cassandra dropping hints and innuendos?  Or should I tell you the looks I get when the two of them are traveling with me?”  She moved towards the desk, making her way towards one of the candles burning there.  
  
“I suggested you not bring them with you.”  Cullen made to cut her off from access to the candles.  
  
“Cassandra is one of the best warriors I’ve ever encountered, and bringing Sera along instead of Varric isn’t an option.  She’d be hounding me every waking moment for information regarding what’s going on.”  She barely managed to dodge him as he grasped for the book.  
  
They ran around the office, Arida barely managing to get away, Cullen laughing as he blocked each of the doors when she made to exit.  It was only when she tripped that he gained the advantage, but she managed to wedge the book behind her.  Cullen trapped her between himself and the desk, “do you yield?”  
  
“Only if you promise there won’t be a third volume.”    
  
“Unfortunately I can’t make that promise.  I didn’t known there would be a second, but knowing Cassandra…”  
  
“I want to hate you right now.”  
  
“But you can’t because you want to know what happens in the story.”  
  
“You are an evil man, and your minions are worse.”  
  
“May I read the book now?”  
  
“On one condition.”  
  
“Name it.”  
  
“You eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner with me for the next seven days.”  
  
Cullen paused a moment.  “If I get too busy?”  
  
“I’ll find and burn the book as well as all copies.”  
  
Sighing in exaggerated defeat, “I agree to your terms.”  
  
Arida handed him the novel, “if I find the three of you in the same room together I’ll make you sleep on the balcony, naked.”


End file.
